FamilyLife Australia

People-Pleasing Inventory

Quiz excerpted from Lou Priolo’s book, Pleasing People. Lou Priolo

Editor’s Note: The April 28, 2008, “FamilyLife Today” radio broadcast, “Pleasing People” refers to the following quiz, excerpted from Lou Priolo’s book Pleasing People.

 

RATING SCALE POINTS
Never (or Hardly Ever) 5
Seldom 4
Sometimes 3
Frequently 2
Always (or Almost Always) 1
  1. I listen with anxious attentiveness when others discuss that which pleases or
    displeases them. _____
  2. I strive to be politically correct more than biblically correct. _____
  3. I like to go “fishing” for compliments. _____
  4. I gossip about others to people whom I believe will be pleased with me for giving them such
    luscious tidbits of information. ____
  5. My desire for a good reputation is predominantly based on how such a reputation will benefit
    me rather than how that reputation will serve as a means to a greater end, such as the glory of
    God, the good of others, or some other unselfish objective. _____
  6. I value the approval of certain individuals from whom I expect to receive certain honors more than
    the approval of those from whom I do not expect to receive such honors. _____
  7. I worry about what people think of me. _____
  8. I am willing to sin rather than face the rejection of certain individuals. _____
  9. I struggle with being a respecter of persons and showing favoritism. _____
  10. I believe that being rejected is one of the worst things that a person could possibly experience. _____
  11. I avoid conflicts rather than trying to resolve them. _____
  12. I take unnecessary precautions to protect my good name. _____
  13. I become angry when I am contradicted by others, especially when being publically contradicted. _____
  14. When meeting new people, I spend more time thinking about how to impress them than how to 
    minister to them. _____
  15. My fear of being rejected paralyzes me to the extent that it keeps me from  getting close
    to others. _____
  16. I forget that being rejected by others is part of the “suffering for righteousness’ sake” that is my
    reasonable service to God and part of my calling as a Christian. _____
  17. I long to be noticed more than I long to be godly. _____
  18. I give in to peer pressure rather than standing up for what I know is right. _____
  19. I do not witness to others as I should because I fear being criticized or rejected. _____
  20. I overreact to criticism by dwelling on it too long or unnecessarily allowing it to depress me. _____

YOUR APPROVAL RATING

Here is a simple, albeit nonscientific, way to determine the level of your struggle with approval. If you’ve not yet done so, please take a moment right now to tally your inventory score. If you scored between 96 and 100, you do not have a problem with people-pleasing. (You may have a problem with being insensitive, callous, or even hard hearted, but you’re definitely not a people-pleaser.) If your total points fall between 90 and 95, you’re probably free from the love of approval. If your total was between 80 and 89, you are probably a bit too concerned when it comes to the approval of others. If you scored between 70 and 79, you may, in fact, be a bona fide people-pleaser. If your score was 69 or below, you may very well be an approval addict. (You are probably somewhat enslaved to the approval of man.)

 

Reproduced by permission of P&R Publishing Co., P.O. Box 817, Phillipsburgh, N.J. 08865, www.prpbooks.com. Taken from Pleasing People by Lou Priolo, ISBN 978-1-59638-055-4, pages 20-22. Materials are not to be distributed to other Web locations for retrieval, published in other media, or mirrored at other sites without permission of P&R Publishing.